The Escort
by cybergirl26
Summary: The title is pretty self-explanatory; Barney hires an escort, and is pleasantly surprised. Rating may change in later chapters.
1. GNB Gala

**GNB Gala**

"Are we clear?" Bilson asked, his tone making it very clear that he only accepted one answer.

Barney nodded, "yes, I'll attend tonight."

"And for god's sake, bring a girl this time. I do not want you on top of one of the seniors wives again." Bilson left before Barney could respond.

"She was begging for it…" he mumbled, putting his head back.

Bring a girl, as if that was such an easy task. Barney Stinson didn't do girlfriends – period. And he couldn't just bring a bimbo, because he would make a complete fool of himself in front of the senior partners as soon as she opened her mouth.

He briefly wondered if Lily would go with him, Marshall wouldn't mind. And it would give her a reason to dress up, didn't girls always love that?

But pretending that Lily was his girlfriend would just be weird. Besides, she probably didn't want to spend her evening surrounded by a bunch of bankers, and lawyers anyways.

He mentally went through his contact list, but couldn't think of any girl that would 1) be up to it, and 2) be well mannered enough to pull it off.

He sighed, and opened a browser on his computer. He quickly found what he was looking for and dialed the number.

"Escort Service XOR, how can we help you?" A friendly voice asked.

"I need a sophisticated girl to attend a dinner with me tonight." Barney demanded.

The girl gave him some options, and went through the business terms with him, before finally setting up time, and place for him to pick the girl up.

He really hoped she wasn't a bleach blond bimbo.

….

As it turned out, she wasn't. He was standing on the sidewalk, next to the town car, and watcher her approaching.

At least if that was her. God he hoped so, this girl was not only gorgeous, but also wore a dress that was elegant, yet sexy in a subtle way. Exactly the kind of dress his perfect hypothetical girlfriend would wear.

"Hi, you must be Barney?" She asked.

He nodded, "and you are Ava?"

"Yes, nice to meet you." They shook hands, and he noticed a very expensive looking clutch.

"You look stunning." He said while checking her out.

It didn't bother her, "the agency stressed that this evening is very important to you."

He nodded, and opened the door for her, "shall we?"

They went through everything she needed to know on the ride over to the hotel, and he could already tell by the questions she was asking, that he had nothing to worry about, she certainly wouldn't embarrass him tonight.

"Let's do it." She said confidently once the driver pulled up.

A few seconds later he wrapped his arm around her waist to guide her into the hotel.

He noticed her perfume, he didn't recognize it, and doubted that he had ever smelled it on another girl before.

He briefly wondered why a girl like her did a job like this, but then they were there, and he forgot about all that.

She was exactly what he'd expected: Well mannered, and polite, yet witty, and confident enough so she wouldn't back down from an argument instantly.

They started out with some chit-chat, and while Ava was complimenting an exquisite scarf, or recommended a new hair salon, Barney was busy watching the reactions of his co-workers.

Most of them starred a little too long at her, some even lingered, and the wives who picked up on their husbands behavior either snapped at them, or drowned another drink.

It made him feel as if he was the man of the hour, because while all these guys went home to their wives, and kids, he got to spend the night with her.

Because he paid her – a lot, he reminded himself.

Still, he liked the way people where looking at them, it certainly wasn't something people did when he had one of his bimbos on his arm.

"Okay?"

He hadn't paid attention, and turned towards her now, "sorry, what did you say?"

"I'll freshen up, okay? They are going to start serving the food soon." She repeated patiently.

He nodded, "I'll be right here waiting for you."

She leaned in, and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll be quick."

He couldn't help but grin as he watched her disappear.

"So Stinson." Bilson was still standing across from him.

Barney raised an eyebrow.

"Where did you get yourself a girlfriend this quickly?"

Barney smiled, "a magician never reveals his greatest trick."

"The question I have is why you didn't bring her to these events sooner? She's hot." Blauman commented.

"Stinson likes to keep the best for himself." Bilson nudged him.

Barney grinned, he wanted to have her around all the time! And he hadn't even gotten to sleep with her yet.

…

The first course was served, and Ava, and one of the senior partners were talking about the upcoming elections.

Barney was barely paying attention to what they were saying, he was too mesmerized by her.

"Do you want my olives?" She had turned to him.

"You don't like olives, huh?" He asked grinned, while popping hers into his mouth.

"Why does that make you smile?" She asked curiously.

"No particular reason." He replied.

…

The conversation topic during the main course was mostly weather, and the last hurricane than hit the east coast. Ava was exceptionally knowledgeable, and funny again, and the entire table was hanging on her lips.

It turned him on immensely.

…

He finished his last bite of dessert, and finally decided to do something about it. He placed his hand on her thigh.

She didn't even miss a beat while talking, and he felt encouraged to explore a little more, even though her tight dress wasn't allowing for much of that.

"Barney, you don't mind if I ask your beautiful girlfriend for a dance?" One of the senior partners asked while getting up.

Barney shook his head, "no, go ahead."

He watched Ava get up, and noticed the sad look on the guy's wife's face.

"I guess that leaves us. May I?" Barney asked, as he got up himself.

"You don't want to dance with me." The elderly woman waved him off.

"I'd be honored too, please, just one dance." Barney insisted.

The woman agreed, and they followed them onto the dancefloor.

The first dance ended, and it was Ava who swiftly ensured that the guy was dancing with his wife.

Barney swooped her into his arms, "smooth," he commented.

Ava winked, "I know a little something about dealing with horny old guys."

"Really?" He asked.

"Comes with the job."

"Well, you clearly know something about dancing too."

"You aren't so bad yourself." She replied.

"There is a lot of stuff I am not so bad at." He said suggestively.

It made her laugh, "that was weak."

Her comment made him laugh as well.

…

They stayed on the dance floor for quite some time, then they hit the open bar again.

Finally they ended up on the balcony.

"It was really nice of you to dance with that guy's wife, and make her feel special." She commented as she looked over the Hudson in front of her.

"It was really nice of me to let him have the first dance with you." Barney replied, lighting a cigar.

"May I?" She asked, pointing at it.

"It's just a cigar." He said stupidly.

"Well yeah, but saying a Arturo Fuente is _just _a cigar seems like an understatement."

"You…what?" He was speechless.

She grinned, "daddy issues, don't ask."

Barney grinned; he guessed that was the answer to why a girl like her ended up in a job like that, "hot!"

He handed her the cigar.

"Yeah, it's a good one." She commented as she handed it back to him.

…

He couldn't wait any longer, and so he pushed her into one of the guest bathrooms a little while later.

They got lucky, it was empty.

He plunged forward, and kissed her. She tasted like a mixture of cigars, and lipstick.

She kissed him right back, and he closed in on her until her back was against the wall.

Their make out session was interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

They halted, and he watched her as she licked her lips.

Gosh, she was gorgeous.

Whoever had interrupted them left, and he leaned back down to continue making out with her.

Five minutes later he was pushing himself against her, desperately trying to gain control of this situation.

He realized that they hadn't talked business yet.

"How much?" He asked once their lips separated.

First it seemed like she didn't know what he was talking about, but then her expression changed, and she pushed him away.

"I don't sleep with clients."

"What?" He asked surprised, all this turn on, and then she just let him hanging.

"You know the terms."

"Yeah, but…the agency doesn't need to know…that's where the real money comes from, isn't it?" He realized that he was making it worse.

"Guess you booked the wrong girl then." She sidestepped him, walked towards the basin, and checked her reflection in the mirror.

He reached out to her, "hey, can't we figure something out?"

She shook her head, "we should probably get back in there. The CEO was going to talk, right?"

He watched her reapply her lipstick, while trying to mentally cool himself down.

"Yes, it's the highlight of the evening." He finally said, holding the door for her as they walked out of the bathroom.

…

"So…how does this work now?" He asked as they were sitting in the town car, heading towards the corner where he had picked her up hours earlier.

"How does what work?" She asked yawning.

He couldn't help, but think that it was cute.

"The pay."

"Oh come on, don't pretend you've never done this before."

He put his arm around her, and kissed her, "never like this."

"The agency got your credit card information, they will just charge you." She replied as their lips separated.

"How about a tip?" He asked, kissing her again.

He really wanted to take her home right now.

"It's all part of the fee." She said.

He noticed that they were almost there, and decided to start one last try to make her change her mind. Cupping her head, he made sure that the kiss conveyed his intentions.

Surprisingly she joined in again, no hesitation whatsoever.

The car stopped, and so did they.

"Thanks for dropping me off." She said as she scooted over to the door.

Barney nodded, he thought about getting out of the car to open the door for her, he thought about asking her to go home with him, but he didn't want to sound like a desperate loser.

"Thanks for being so awesome tonight, you really stunned these people." He said.

She smiled, and winked at him before finally exiting the car.

**Just an idea I had the other day, what do you guys think ? Worth a shot, or too out of character? **


	2. Lunch Date

**Thanks for the comments, this chapter should clear a lot of your questions up :) **

**Lunch Date**

Barney loved all the attention he was getting at the office because of her. A lot of the guys were still talking about it days after the gala, and those who hadn't attended kept bugging him to have her pick him up or something so they could meet this girl as well.

So he arranged a lunch date to show her off a little around the office. And maybe also so he could see her again.

"Mr. Stinson? Ava is here." His secretary informed him.

"Thanks Mary." He replied, and got up to greet her.

Ava was just wearing jeans, and a revealing top, but she still looked super hot. Gosh, he really wished she wouldn't have that stupid, "no sex with clients" rule.

"Hey babe." He greeted her, kissing her softly on the lips.

"Hey," she whispered, "ready for lunch?"

He nodded, "I just need to grab my wallet," he took her hand, and lead her down the corridor, and into his office.

"Wow, that's a nice office." She commented, as he let go of her hand.

"Thanks, do you like the posters? I had them custom made."

She stepped closer, and read each one, "custom made, huh?"

Barney stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and whispered, "you look stunning today."

"Barney, can you come here for a second?" A voice asked behind them, and as they turned around Barney reluctantly let go of her.

"Oh hi there," It was George, the senior partner who had danced with Ava at the Gala.

Ava just nodded, while Barney asked, "Can it wait? We were just heading out for lunch."

"Bilson, and I have an important call with Azerbaijan, and he is a little shaky on the details of the last round of negotiation, can you just refresh his memory?"

Barney rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry to take him away, but it will only be a minute or two." George added.

"It's fine." Ava ensured them both.

Barney walked out of the office, but halted when he noticed that George wasn't following him.

"Go ahead, I will keep your beautiful girlfriend company."

Barney looked back over to Ava, who just nodded, and finally left the office.

…

George, and Ava were standing in font of his bookcase when he came back into the office.

Somehow the vibe of the room was different though, which caused him to ask, "is everything okay?"

"I was just about to ask you the same." George replied, stepping away from Ava.

"Yes, everything should be fine now." Barney replied, still eyeing both of them suspiciously.

"Well then, have fun on your date." George winked at him, and left the room.

"What was that?" Barney asked her as soon as he was sure George wouldn't hear him.

"Nothing, let's go, I am starving."

Barney nodded, and wrapped his arm around her waist.

They had to wait in front of the elevators, and he seized the opportunity to kiss her.

She kissed him back, but something was off.

He finally figured out what it was as they sat down, and ordered their food.

"He kissed you, didn't he?" Barney asked.

Ava seemed surprised by his comment, "what are you talking about?"

"George…something happened between you two while I was next door."

"That's ridiculous." Ava said, but she didn't even try to sound convincing.

"You tasted differently then before I left."

Ava raised her eyebrows, and asked amused, "what?"

"Is he like another client of yours?" Barney asked.

He couldn't deny that this was bugging him a lot more then it probably should have.

"No."

"Then why did you kiss him?"

"I didn't kiss him."

"I know you did."

"What's it to you anyways?" She asked.

"Well, I'd appreciate if you wouldn't make out in my office with my boss." Barney got a little louder.

"You know what," she put her napkin back on the table, "I am not having this discussion."

Barney watched her getting up, and closed his eyes for a second. This wasn't how he had imagined this lunch to go.

"Ava wait." He caught up with her half a block later.

"What?"

"I am sorry, okay?"

"Don't be, it's fine." She turned back around, but he got a hold of her arm, and spun her back towards him.

"It's clearly not. I am sorry I accused you of … you know what. I was a jerk, but the Carpaccio you just ordered isn't, and I won't be either, I promise."

Her expression went from anger to something else entirely.

"You're not a jerk, but this isn't a real date either, let's just call it a day, okay?" She suggested.

He couldn't hide his disappointment, "fine."

She stepped closer, and kissed him gently, "I will just tell the agency I didn't show up, okay?"

"What? No, it's fine."

They stood there for a second in which Barney wondered whether or not he should just walk away.

"Piece of advice though, don't bring a girl you really do care about to the office with you." She whispered.

"What did he do?" Barney asked alarmed.

"Don't worry about it."

"Ava, tell me."

"It's fine. Everything is fine, okay? Just don't expose someone you love to that ass."

Barney swallowed, he hadn't meant for all this to go down like that.

Ava picked up on his rising panic, and quickly calmed him down, "don't worry, I didn't do anything to jeopardize your career."

"I don't care about that, he can't just molest you like that." Barney clenched his fists.

Ava smiled at him, "oh, that was nothing, trust me. Just forget we ever had this conversation."

She kissed him again, but this time he kept his eyes open, watching her.

He felt like a character from an old-timey hooker movie, where the guy wanted to rescue the girl.

She broke the kiss off, smiled at him once more, and said, "you better get back."

He nodded, but called after her a few seconds later. She turned back towards him,

"Here," he pulled his wallet out.

"Barney I already told you…" she stopped when she noticed that he wasn't pulling out money.

He picked through his business cards until he found one with his private information on it.

"Here, that's my card. Call my cell if you are ever in trouble, okay? Day or night." He handed her the card.

She looked down on it, and smiled, "thanks."

"I mean it, call me." He said once again.

She nodded, and gave him another smile before turning around.

…

Much later that night he was sitting at the booth with Ted. Lily and Marshall had long gone home, but neither Ted, who had recently lost yet another 'the one' nor he felt like going home yet.

"We should really get going, I mean it's almost four am." Ted slurred.

"Just one more round." Barney replied.

He waved Wendy over, and ordered another round of shots.

"Have you ever wondered why girls go into jobs like stripping, or … or working for an escort company?" Barney suddenly asked.

"Money?" Ted guessed.

"Yeah but…there are other ways to make money."

"True, there is flight attendant, waitress…"

"Ted, focus!" Barney interrupted him.

"Since when do you care about strippers, Barney? Isn't your only concern regarding them whether or not they are willing to do a little more in the Champaign room."

"I am just wondering why they do it."

"I am wondering why any girl does you." Ted giggled.

The shots came, and they emptied them right away.

"All right, let's get you home Teddy Westside." Barney said as he put the glass back down.

They got out of the booth, and while Ted went to the bathroom one more time, Barney went to the bar to pay for the drinks.

He caught a glimpse of the television.

Either he was way drunker then he thought, or Ava was hosting some morning show.

"Hey Carl, can you turn it up?" Barney asked, pointing at the TV.

"Nope, only for sport games, you know the rules Barney."

"Ready?" Ted asked seconds later.

"Almost."

"What's wrong?" Barney asked.

"I know her." He pointed at the TV.

"Really? She's hot. Can you introduce us? But only if you haven't nailed her yet, I don't want your leftovers. Have you nailed her yet?"

Barney shook his head, still starring at the TV, and Ava.

Seconds later a text at the bottom of the screen told him that the girls name wasn't really Ava.

"Robin Scherbatsky." He read out loud.

"I thought you know her." Ted commented.

Barney nodded, "I do. I just didn't know her real….you know what, never mind. Let's get you to bed my friend!"


	3. College Reunion

**Thanks for your feedback. I'm still not sure about this story, and haven't decided whether I will just write a couple of instances of them meeting, or an actual, long story. **

**I am also not crazy about this chapter, but figured I will post it anyways, and let you decide whether it's working or not. **

**College Reunion**

Barney couldn't help but smile when she finally turned the corner, and walked towards him. She was wearing a nice cocktail dress, showing off quite an ample amount of leg, but not so much that it looked slutty.

Two weeks had gone by since their lunch date, and she had stared in a lot of his fantasies since then.

"Hey there." She greeted him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey, how are you doing?" He asked grinning.

"Good, so what's the occasion?"

"College reunion." Barney replied, holding the door of the town car for her.

"Uh, those are always fun." She grinned, as she climbed into the car.

"So you go to a lot of them?" Barney asked once he had joined her.

"Sometimes, so, what's the deal? Why do you need me? Old buddies who thought you would never get a girlfriend? Or am I your wife?"

Barney couldn't help but notice the different vibe from last time, "you are really enjoying this, aren't you?"

She shrugged, "maybe."

"Well, what would you like to be?" He asked.

"Depends what you want to achieve tonight. If you want to make your old buddies jealous – wife. If you want to make an old flame jealous – girlfriend."

"Girlfriend it is then." He said.

"Oh, so this is about a girl, huh? Tell me about her." She leaned her head back and watched him.

"Her name is Shannon, we were going to go to Nicaragua together, but then she left me for another guy." He shrugged.

"Did you love her?" She asked.

Barney nodded, barely believing that he was having this conversation with a girl he had hired to play his girlfriend.

"That sucks." Robin simply said.

"She was the only girl I ever truly loved." He said, sighing heavily.

To his surprise Robin reached out, and covered his hand with hers.

"I'll make sure that she will regret letting you go." She promised.

Their eyes met, "I am sure you will."

Barney had meant to bring her show up, but he didn't want to risk starting a fight. Not when Shannon was mere blocks away.

"What did you major in?" Robin asked.

"I majored in Business Administration, but I didn't switch until after Shannon and I broke up. You?"

"Journalism." She replied casually.

"Really? So what, are you doing this job for a big article or documentary? If so I want to be described as "awesome", and "legendary"."

It made her laugh, "as much as I would love doing you that favor, unfortunately I am not doing either."

Barney shrugged, "too bad, I would like to know more about your job."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't get why someone like you does something like this." He shrugged.

She smiled, "yeah you do."

"You mean because of the money? That can't be it. Not in your case anyways."

Ranjit stopped the car, and Barney took a deep breath.

"Relax, it'll be okay." She reassured him.

…

The first person they ran into that he recognized was a former colleague from the coffee shop he, and Shannon used to work at.

"Wow, I almost didn't recognize you without all that hair Barney." He commented.

"Hair?" Robin asked interested.

"I am sorry, how rude of me. I am Steven." The guy introduced herself.

"Ava." She replied, "so tell me about the hair."

Barney zooned out, scanning the room for Shannon. He noticed her on the other side of the room, talking to someone.

She looked good, really good actually, and he swallowed.

"I can't at all imagine you with long hair." Robin's words drew him back to the conversation happening right in front of him.

"That's probably a good thing." Barney replied, and while glancing over to Shannon one more time he subconsciously started to stroke her side.

Steven must have picked up on him eyeing Shannon, "she's still got it, I always thought you two were going to get married."

Barney smiled, "thank god we didn't, never would have met Ava otherwise."

"I second that." Robin replied, and pulled herself closer to him.

"What about you Steven?" Barney asked.

"Same old, same old." He shrugged.

His, and Shannon's eyes met, and she started to make her way over to them. Barney tightened his grip around Robin's waist, and tried to look as unmoved as possible.

He knew it would be weird to see her again, but he hadn't expected it to be so nerve-racking.

"Wow you changed so much. I almost didn't recognize you." Were the first words out of Shannon's mouth.

"Hi Shannon." There was an awkward silence, which Steven used to sneak off.

The former couple was still starring at each other, until Robin nudged him gently, asking, "don't you want to introduce us babe?"

"Oh sorry, Ava, this is Shannon; Shannon, this is Ava, my girlfriend."

Robin reached out, and the two shook hands.

"Nice to meet you." Robin said politely.

"You too, I really like your dress." Shannon replied.

"Oh really? Thanks. Barn got it for me when we were in Paris." Robin turned, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Seems like you've been doing pretty well for yourself." Shannon said.

"Well, I couldn't stay a hippie forever." Barney grinned.

"I still can't believe you used to have long hair," Robin caressed his hair while speaking.

"How have you been Shannon?" Barney asked.

"Fine…I am a mom now…his name is Max."

"I am glad you, and Greg are happy." Barney commented.

"We broke up. He cheated on me, repeatedly." Shannon confessed.

Barney couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"Man, that sucks. I wish all guys were more like Barney. I have so many girlfriends whose boyfriends cheat on them." Robin shook her head, "you'd never do that."

Barney grinned a little at her comment, "and risk losing you? Not in a million years."

They kissed.

"I'll head to the ladies room, see you later?" Shannon asked.

"Hold on, I am coming with you." Robin quickly said, "Barney, can you get me something to drink?"

He nodded, "sure thing babe. What would you like Shannon?"

She hesitated for a second, but then answered, "wine would be great."

Barney watched them disappear, and wondered what Robin was telling her in there.

They returned ten minutes later, Robin had her arm linked in Shannon's, and Barney couldn't help, but raise an eyebrow.

"Thanks baby," she said as she took the scotch out of his hand.

"That's mi…," he stopped himself, "your welcome."

He turned around, and grabbed the two glasses of the table behind him. He handed Shannon one of the wine glasses, and started nipping on the other one.

"Do you still live in the city?" Barney asked.

"I've got an apartment in Brooklyn. You?" Shannon replied.

"We've just moved to a nice penthouse on 6th." Robin answered before Barney had a chance.

He couldn't help but grin, she had remembered his address, which meant she had seriously looked at his business card.

"You should come by sometime," Robin continued.

"How old is your son?" Barney interfered.

"Max will be five next month."

Victoria, a former friend of Shannon interrupted them when she greeted, and hugged her.

Robin used the moment to lean in, and whisper in his ear; "just fyi, we've been together two years, are heading to Spain next week, and you are a sex god."

Barney laughed, and replied, "the last one is true, you know."

Robin grinned, and kissed him gently.

"You remember Barney, right?" Shannon interrupted their kiss.

"Of course, wow, look at you. I almost didn't recognize you in that suit." Victoria commented.

"See, that to me is so weird, cause I can't picture you not in a suit…well, actually…I can." Robin winked at him, and Barney couldn't help it.

"Yeah you did." He drew her closer, and kissed her again.

"From hippie to banker, huh? That's something you don't see often." Victoria commented.

Shannon, and Victoria started to talk about their children, and Barney and Robin retreated to an quiet corner.

"Is there anyone else you wanted to see, or do you want to get out of here?" Robin asked.

He shrugged, still watching Shannon.

"We could make out for a few minutes, and then sneak out in a way that ensures she knows exactly what's going on." Robin suggested, playing with his suit jacket.

Barney looked back at her, realizing once again how pretty she was.

"Sounds good." He grinned, and leaned in to kiss her.

…

He'd opened his eyes twice while making out with Robin to catch a glimpse of Shannon and both times she was watching them. Neat less to say, Robin's plan worked out really well, and Barney could see the hurt in Shannon's eyes as he was leaving with a giggling Robin.

Being back in the town car he didn't feel like pretending to be happy anymore, and just sat back, starring through the sunroof.

"I think she was jealous, don't you?" Robin asked next to him.

He just nodded.

"Hey, don't let her bring you down." She scooted closer to him, nudging him gently.

"It's just…" he sighed before continuing, "she's a mom…that could have been my kid."

Under normal circumstances, he would never admit that having a kid was something that he wanted. But thinking back to what Shannon, and he had; or what he thought they had. It was the only honest relationship he ever had.

"Do you want a kid?" Robin asked gently.

"That's the thing, I don't. But I loved her so much, and to think that there could have been a little person running around…"

Robin shut him off with a kiss.

"She cheated on you Barney."

"She could have been my one chance at happiness." He replied.

"Oh jesus." She muttered, as she climbed onto his lap, straddling him. "You are a great guy, you will find someone who deserves you."

"Says the girl I hired to play my girlfriend." He muttered.

"Stop pitying yourself." She shifted on his lap, and leaned down to kiss his throat.

"What are you doing?" he asked, automatically moving his arms to her hips to steady her.

"I am trying to cheer you up, that's what I am doing." She replied, while moving back up, and kissing him on the lips again.

But he wasn't really into it, and so she moved back to his jawline, while her hands worked his belt.

"It's crazy, you know things about me that even my closest friends don't know." Barney muttered.

"Same here." She whispered, now undoing his zipper.

Ranjit had stopped the car.

He closed his eyes as her hand wrapped around him. For weeks he had dreamed about doing more with her than kissing, but now all he could think about were Shannon, and Max.

At least for the first minute, after that he pulled her close, kissing her hungrily as she fondled him.

Two minutes later it was all over, and she hurriedly got back in her seat, reaching for her clutch.

He watched her, realizing in slow motion that she would just leave, "Ava."

She looked at him for a second, "don't book me again Barney."

And with that she opened the door, and left him sitting there by himself.


	4. Philadelphia

**Philadelphia**

"Go for Barney." Barney answered his phone.

"I told you not to book me again Barney."

Barney couldn't help, but grin. Yes she had, but he had given it a shot anyways, figuring the worst that could happen was that the agency denied the request. But they hadn't, and apparently she wasn't just going to stand him up either.

"I know, but I really need you to attend this work thing with me tomorrow, everyone is expecting me to bring you, I can't just show up with a new girlfriend."

"It's over night." She sounded angry.

"It's a charity dinner in Philly, I've already made sure we don't sit at the same table then the senior partners, and I promise I won't try anything at the hotel either."

"I don't care what it is Barney, you can't just ignore…"

"Okay fine," he interrupted her harsh, "I'll call the agency, and cancel if that's what you want."

They were both silent for a second, before Barney spoke again, this time a little softer than before,

"I'd just really hoped you'd changed you mind about me."

"This isn't about what I am thinking of you Barney."

"Look, it's a free trip to Philadelphia for you, huh?"

"One hotel room?" She asked.

"Yeah, the company only booked one, but I promise I won't do anything sleazy."

He could hear her sigh, "fine."

"Really? You're the best!" Barney wasn't faking it either, he really was excited.

"Apparently."

"I'll meet you at JFK Airport at four? Just call me on my cell when you get close, okay?"

The conversation ended shortly afterwards, and he called his secretary, to tell her to book a nice suite, and two flights.

…

"Hey," she said as she approached him.

"Hey you, thanks for agreeing to this." He reached for her bag, and their hands touched as he took it from her.

"I already got our tickets, so we can go right through."

She nodded, and followed him to security.

"Are you doing things like this more often?" He asked as they waited.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Going on trips with clients."

She shrugged, "it's not the first time."

"That doesn't sound like it's a lot of fun." He pointed out.

"It depends on the guy."

He realized that she didn't really want to talk to him right now, and decided to shut up.

They still had time until takeoff, and Robin disappeared into a bookstore, while he waited at their gate.

He watched the planes taxing outside, and wondered if she would keep this distant behavior up all night.

The whole thing made him a little mad, he hadn't been the one who had initiated the handjob in the car. And besides, he wouldn't bring that up, or use it against her.

"I got you a red bull."

He spun his head around, and took the can, "thanks, I love those."

"I know." She sat down next to him, and opened a bottle of water.

"How?" He asked amused.

"You mentioned it at that gala."

He opened the can, and pointed at the bag in her hand, "what else did you buy?"

"Magazines to read on the plane." She shrugged.

He nodded, "I really appreciate that you are coming."

"What's the charity dinner for?" She asked, and he went every detail he could think off to fill her in as best as he could.

…

The dinner was nice enough, just another event with too much food, and too many boring speakers.

But Barney had nothing to complain, Robin was very outgoing again, and every guy envied him for her. At least that's what he told himself.

Now they were back at the hotel, and Robin was in the shower, while he checked his e-mail one more time, and uploaded a new post to his blog.

She was wearing sweats, and a tank top when she came back into the bedroom, and he couldn't deny that even without make-up, and totally suited down he still found her attractive.

"The bathroom is all yours."

He nodded, and got up, "thanks, feel free to order whatever you want if you are hungry, or thirsty."

"I am fine, but thanks."

…

She was already lying in bed when he came back into the room, wearing nothing but his Armani pajama bottoms.

"Is it okay with you if I sleep in the bed, or should I just take the couch?" He asked.

"I don't mind as long as you stay on your side." She said.

He nodded, got into bed, and turned off the lights.

"You were great tonight, thanks again for coming."

"You didn't say much." He could tell that she was yawning as she said those words.

He didn't know what to say, and just let it go.

He wanted to tell her that he knew her real name, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up. After several minutes of overthinking it, he finally said;

"I like your show Robin."

"What?" she sounded a lot more awake now then a minute ago.

"Your morning show."

"I know which show you are talking about." She said without commenting on him calling her by her real name.

"I've watched it a couple of times now, and I think you are a really good host."

"Wow, so we do have one viewer." She joked.

He scooted closer to her, and propped himself up on an elbow, "you are very talented."

"I am still not sleeping with you."

"I mean it, you are so confident, and witty, just like you were tonight." Barney wished he could see her expression right now.

They were both silent for a second.

"So yes, my real name is Robin." She finally said.

"I am still Barney." He replied.

Again silence.

"I think you will become a huge success one day." He finally said.

"Dude, I am not changing my mind about sleeping with you, so stop lying to get in my pants."

"I am not lying. I really mean that."

"I am a joke Barney, no one watches the show, just like no one watched me on my previous gig."

"Is that why you work as an escort? Because of all the attention?" He asked.

"No, and stop trying to analyze me."

He swallowed, and whispered, "I think you should quit the escort thing, someday, someone is going to dig this up, and it will ruin your career."

"I don't need your advice." She replied.

"Have you thought about that though?" He asked.

"It won't matter, because I will never become famous enough for anyone to care."

"Don't say that. You just got to believe in yourself."

"I prefer being realistic."

"I believe in you." He had said it before he could stop himself.

She didn't say anything for a minute.

"I know I am just some guy who pays you to hang out with him, but I really do think that you have what it takes to become famous. Don't risk your future happiness, and dignity on this." Barney's hand found her arm, and he started tracing patterns on it.

"No one is going to believe that you didn't sleep with the guys." He added.

"So there is no reason why I shouldn't sleep with you, is that what you're saying." She asked.

"That's not what I am saying, you know that." He responded, and let himself fall back onto the bed.

It took her several minutes to break the silence.

"I am sorry."

"No need to be," he replied.

"I was a jerk. I am just not used to guys actually being sincere."

The statement made his stomach tighten up.

"Why do you do this? You are so smart, and funny, and you clearly have a job. So why do you let guys just…own you like this?" He asked.

"Honestly?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"First it really was about the money, I was in-between jobs, and a friend told me about this agency. It seemed like easy money, and oftentimes it really is. I meet so many interesting people, like tonight, I've had an hour long conversation with a Senator, how cool is that?" She asked.

"Depends on who you ask, I found the whole discussion boring. So you do it to meet interesting people?" He asked.

"Well, sort of. I moved to the city two years ago, but never really made friends. They were always the friends of the guy I was with at any given time. I know it sounds stupid…"

"But you are lonely." He completed her sentence.

"Now you make it sound like I am some weird cat lady."

"No, I get it."

"Some of the guys are jerks, yes, but a lot of the ones who can afford to hire me are actually really interesting. Like you, I enjoy spending time with you."

He reached back out, and let his fingers intertwine with hers.

"I don't want to sound too sappy, but I enjoy spending time with you too."

"Especially in the back of town cars, huh?" she asked.

It made him grin, "for example, but lying next to you in bed talking isn't that bad either."

This time she was the one laughing.

"You are a good guy Barney Stinson."

"Well, there are a lot of women who would beg to differ." He replied.

"Oh really?" She asked.

"Yeah, I am kind of known as a womanizer."

"Oh I believe it."

…

Barney didn't remember falling asleep, what he did remember though was waking up the next morning.

The sun was already creeping through the curtains, but Robin was still sound asleep.

He watched her for a moment before realizing that their fingers were still intertwined.

It made him smile, and he stroke her hand with his thumb before carefully letting go, and getting up.

They had a plane to catch, and there was no way he was going to miss that, after all it had taken him three weeks to convince Ted to play laser tag with him today.


	5. Emergency Call

Thanks for all you guy's reviews! Always a great incentive to keep writing.

Srcrib- That is an awesome idea, I hadn't even thought about it. To be honest, I only have like 2 (now 3 thanks to you) more chapters mapped out in my head, I got an idea for the general direction I want this story to go, but that's about it. So thanks for pitching your idea. I hope the chapter I'll make out of it will live up to what you were picturing.

**Midnight Call**

As usual, Barney spend his Friday nights with Marshall, Lily, and Ted at McLarens; which meant he was either teaching them how to live, or picking up a bimbo.

He had already done the former earlier, and had now retreated to the booth to discuss which movie they should all watch at the theater the next night.

"I say we just come here." Ted finally said.

"No, we always do that. That new horror movie is supposed to be really scary." Lily countered.

Barney couldn't help but grin, yes, Marshall would happily accompany his wife to a chick flick, but horror movies were not really his thing.

His cell phone starting ringing, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

"Booty call." Marshall joked.

"Who would booty call Barney?" Lily asked rhetorically.

"Please, who else calls at 12:14 am?" Ted said whilst checking his watch.

Barney didn't recognize the number, and decided to answer it anyways, "go for Barney."

"Hey Barney, it's Robin."

He couldn't help but grin, they hadn't talked since returning from Philadelphia a week ago. Gosh he hoped this was a booty call.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked.

"Did you mean what you said? That you'd get me out if I were ever in trouble?"

His grin froze immediately, and he jumped out of the booth, "yes, where are you?"

He was already outside by the time she answered, "Doubletree Times Square, room 3802."

"I'll be there in five." He ended the call, tucked the cell phone away, and started running.

Time Square wasn't far at all from McLarens, yet tonight it didn't seem like that.

He had quite a few drinks earlier, and had felt a little woozy a minute ago, but now all that was gone.

He reached the hotel in record time, and charged for the elevators, which apparently only worked with a room key so he started running up the stairs until he reached the first floor with hotel rooms on it, at which he was able to enter the elevator.

Looking for the right room he could feel his adrenalin pumping. He had never been in a real fight, but wouldn't back down if it came to that in a minute.

He banged on the door, still breathing hard from all that running.

A guy opened the door, he was wearing a nice pair of dress pants, but nothing else.

"What do you want?" He asked, but Barney was already moving past him, and into the room.

There was a second guy, still fully dressed, standing by the window, cutting off Robin's exit route.

Barney stopped in his tracks when he saw her.

She was wearing black lace underwear, and nothing else. He couldn't help but stare.

"What the hell is going on here?" The guy standing across from him asked.

"Yeah, you can't just burst in here like that." The one who had opened the door said as he walked up to Barney.

"Except he can." Robin walked by the guy, and reached for her dress that was lying on the floor.

Barney finally stopped starring, and instead reached for her purse standing on the desk next to him.

"Is he like your boyfriend or something?" The first guy asked.

Robin ignored him, and Barney looked at him more thoroughly this time. He was definitely in great shape, and judged from the Armani pants, had a good taste in suits too. Under other circumstances he would have probably liked him.

"Seriously, you aren't dating her, right? I mean no offense to Ava - you are great babe - but a guy like you shouldn't have to share his girl with several John Doe's."

Robin had put her boots back on, and was grabbing Barney's hand, letting their fingers intertwine.

"Ava wait." The guy who had first opened the door tried to reason with her.

"Never call me again Tom."

"It was just meant as a joke," he tried.

"Really? Well I didn't think it was funny." She took her purse from Barney.

"You know me," he tried once more.

"Apparently not." She pulled Barney, who shot the guy a dirty look, along with her, and they left the room.

"What the hell was that?" He asked once they were inside the elevator.

She shook her head, "you don't really want to know, trust me."

They reached the lobby, and walked out where he got them a cab, giving the driver his address.

"I thought you never sleep with clients." He said once the cab had pulled back onto the street.

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Give me an explanation for what just happened in there, and I will leave you alone," he countered.

"Nothing happened, okay? Please let it go."

"No, you wouldn't have called me if it wasn't serious."

"Excuse me, could you just let me out on the next corner?" Robin asked the cab driver.

Barney pulled her back, "stop that. I nailed a drunk hairdresser in a bathroom stall two hours ago, I am not going to judge you. Just tell me what happened."

That seemed to work, at least she looked as if she was contemplating telling him the truth.

"Tom sometimes books me, and sometimes these meetings go a little further then they should." She didn't look at him while she spoke.

Barney watched her, and finally asked, "why?"

"Why what?" She asked.

"Why do you sleep with him?"

"I don't know Barney."

"Of course you do, tell me." He pressed.

"Why would I tell you that?"

"Well for starters because I just got you out of what looked like a pretty bad situation."

"It wasn't that bad." She replied.

"Please, I am just trying to understand this."

"You don't have to understand any of this, it's not your business."

"Great, so I am the only client who doesn't get to sleep with you?" He asked, half jokingly.

"I am not a prostitute."

Barney realized that her tone had shifted into something sadder.

He covered her hand with his, "I know you aren't, I am sorry. I just want to understand why you sleep with that ass, but act all high and mighty with me."

"I would have slept with you too, you know."

His eyes widened, and she continued, "that first night, at the gala."

"But you didn't" he recalled.

"No I didn't. Because I felt like we really clicked, but all you saw in me was some girl you had paid to fulfill your every need."

"That's not true." He defended himself.

"It is. But that's fine, most guys think of me in that way."

Slowly it dawned on him what set him apart from Tom, "but he didn't."

She shrugged, and whispered, "ultimately he did too."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and pulled her closer to his body.

"You must think I am a total slut." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around his stomach.

"No, I don't. So you slept with one client, so what." He shrugged.

It made her laugh, "assuming it was just one is really sweet of you."

"Was it more?" He asked.

"What was that thing with the drunk hairdresser again?"

"Touché." He rubbed her back with his hand.

Shortly afterwards the cab came to a stop, they had arrived at Barney's address.

Robin sat back up, and fixed her hair.

"So, I'll see you Sunday, right?"

She seemed a little surprised that he didn't invite her up, but caught herself fairly quickly, "yes, at eleven. What's the occasion?"

"Lunch at my mom's." He explained.

"What? Barney no, that's just wrong."

"She's sick, and her biggest wish is that I meet someone who will take care of me when she is gone. I don't want that, ever, so… you pretending to be my girlfriend is the closest I can come to fulfill that wish for her."

Robin inhaled, "I am sorry that she's sick, I really am, but I still don't feel comfortable deceiving your mother."

"Please, it'll make her happy." Barney pleaded.

She finally nodded, and pulled something out of her purse, he realized it was a pen, and an old receipt. She wrote something on it before handing him the paper,

"I really appreciate you coming tonight Barney, so, next time instead of calling the agency, you just call me directly."

He looked at the seven digits, "is that like your business phone?"

It made her laugh, "no, it's my real one, so don't mess with it."

"I would never do that."

She grinned, and kissed him quickly on the lips, "thanks again."

"Anytime." He winked at her before leaning forward, and handing the cabby some bills, "that should be enough to cover her fare to wherever she wants to go too."

And with that he got out of the cab, and watched it drive off.


	6. Have you met Robin

**Have you met Robin? **

"Lily? Marshall?" Barney had just walked into their apartment, and it occurred to him that they definitively weren't expecting them.

He couldn't help but grin, maybe he would find them doing it. He had always wondered about Lily's breasts.

"Barney, what are you doing here?" A fully dressed Lily asked as she came out of the kitchen.

"Hey," he replied while his eyes automatically moved to her chest.

"Must have been quite the booty call last night, I've never seen you leave McLarens that quickly." She said as she wrapped her cardigan tighter around herself.

"Wasn't a booty call. Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah sure, what's up?" she asked, and sat down on the couch, gesturing him to do the same.

"Did you decide on going to see the movie tonight?" He asked.

"Nah, the boys don't really want to, I think we are just heading to McLarens." Lily replied shrugging.

Barney nodded, "great, here is the thing; I want to bring a girl tonight, and…"

"No Barney, leave us out of your schemes. You know how horrible it is to run into one of the girls you drag to our table just to increase your chances of sleeping with them, after you dumped them?"

"That's not what tonight is about, can you just let me finish?" He asked.

"Fine, go ahead."

"As I said, I want to invite this girl to hang out with us, and I was hoping that you could make her feel welcome, and incorporate her into our group."

"Why? It's just a matter of time until you bang her, and she won't show up anymore anyways."

"No, I am not going to sleep with her." Barney insisted.

Lily was eyeing him suspiciously, "so why do you bring her then."

"So she can become friends with all of us." Barney's tone conveyed that he didn't get why this was so hard to understand.

"Why?" She asked again.

"Because I think she could really use some friends in her life."

"And you, as the Good Samaritan that you are, are going to make that happen? This is one of your plays, isn't it?"

"It's not, I swear Lil. Please, just make her feel welcome tonight, okay? She's a really cool chick, I think you will hit it off well."

"Fine, but you are in serious trouble if I find out that you are using us to get into her pants Mister." Lily reminded him.

Barney nodded, "fair enough."

…

He got lucky, she hadn't had any plans for tonight, and agreed to meet him at nine. So he waited for her a block away from McLarens, and as usual, she looked gorgeous.

"So what's the occasion tonight?" She asked after they greeted each other.

"We are going to hang out at my favorite bar." He replied, and started walking.

"Why?" She asked as she linked arms with him.

"Because I want you to meet my friends." He explained.

She stopped, "Barney, no."

"Here we go again," He rolled his eyes.

"This is wrong. Don't use me to deceive the people you love."

"Okay first of all, I am not _using_ you. I am taking you to hang out with my friends. Secondly, they always just see me as a womanizer who can't be in an honest relationship, and while that's probably true, I'd still like to prove to them that I am not always a jerk to women." He started walking again, and she did too.

"Well, I know you aren't always a jerk to women, but I still think this is wrong, I mean they are your friends, so they clearly can't mind you playing tricks on women too much." Robin replied.

Barney shrugged, "they don't really. But I'd still like to prove to them that I am not always that guy. So what do you say, does a night at an Irish pub to pay off your debt sound fair?"

She sighed, but nodded.

"Great, cause we are here," he pointed at the stairs.

"Go time." She muttered, as she let her fingers intertwine with his, before they entered the bar.

The gang was already sitting at the table, and Lily must have talked to Ted, and Marshall about him bringing a girl because Ted was sitting on the chair, and the second booth was completely empty.

"Hey guys, this is Robin." All three turned around.

"Hi, nice to meet you" Robin greeted them.

"Marshall, Lily, and Ted." Barney introduced them as he pointed at each of them, while guiding Robin to sit down in the booth, "Scotch?"

Robin nodded, and Barney walked back towards the bar, quickly telling Carl what they were having before scooting in the seat next to Robin.

"Thanks babe." She said, and he noticed how the others raised their eyebrows.

"So Robin, how do you know Barney?" Marshall was the first to speak.

"Through work." Robin replied.

"Oh really, you know what Barney does for a living?" Ted immediately asked.

"It's something illegal, isn't it?" Lily wanted to know.

"I am really not allowed to say." Robin replied, and Barney couldn't help but grin.

"Wait…you aren't the girl from that morning show, are you?" Ted asked.

"Morning show?" Lily, and Marshall asked in unison.

"Yeah, Barney, and I got really drunk the night Liz dumped me, and this show came on. That's you, right?"

Robin nodded, "yes, that was me. Glad to hear that we at least have some viewers."

"Hey, don't be so harsh on yourself, I like your show." Barney put his arm around her shoulder, and starting stroking it.

"You have your own tv show? That's so cool." Marshall said.

"It's really not. It's pretty lame," Robin countered.

"No it's not." Barney countered.

"When is it on?" Lily asked.

"Every morning from four to six." Barney answered before Robin could.

He could feel her eyes on him, but didn't turn towards her.

"We should all watch it on Monday." Ted suggested.

"Awesome idea, we'll all meet up before work." Marshall jumped right in.

He finally turned his head, Robin looked really moved by the idea, "you really don't have to do that, it comes on too early."

"You are not getting out of this one," Lily said, "three thirty, our place."

Robin looked at him, and he just shrugged. Man, he had the best friends in the world.

They went around, and Marshall, Lily and Ted told Robin what they did for a living. Barney just sat back, and let them bond.

Later he went back to the bar to get another round, and Lily followed him.

"So, what do you think? She's great, right?" Barney asked.

"Yes, she seems really nice, but she can't hang out with us again." Lily replied.

"What why?" Barney turned back towards the booth, and watched Marshall and Ted interact with Robin, "she's not Marshall's type Lil, besides, she would never try anything with him."

"What? I am not worried about her with Marshall."

"Then why can't she come back?" Barney asked.

"Cause you are going to sleep with her."

"I already told you I am not…but I think Ted might be falling in love." He pointed at the table, Ted was leaning in closer, and closer towards Robin.

"Barney, she's all over you, of course you will take advantage of that." Lily replied annoyed.

"We are not going to have sex, I promise."

"I repeat, she's all over you."

"Lily I … I will deny that I ever said what I am about to say, but I am worried about her, and her having you guys as friends is more important to me than a night of fun."

Lily's eyes widened, "wow, are you smitten?"

"What? No. I am not Lily." He stated sternly and turned back to the counter to get the drinks.

He walked back to the table before Lily could say anything else, he and smitten, as if.

Placing the scotch in front of Robin, and her rubbing his arm in return made him realize that he couldn't really blame Lily for thinking that they were into each other.

Maybe it would be better if he backed off a little. He pulled his phone out, and pretended to be getting an important call.

"I'm sorry, but I need to check in on my mom, she isn't doing well." He lied, immediately realizing that this wasn't a good plan at all since Robin would meet his mom tomorrow.

"What?" Robin asked surprised, and offered, "I can come with you."

He briefly tried to figure out whether or not she meant it, or just wanted to make an escape herself.

He couldn't tell.

"No it's fine, just enjoy yourself." He pushed his scotch next to hers, and looked at his friends, "you will keep Robin company, right?"

They all nodded, "yeah, we'll have fun, don't worry." Lily promised.

Barney had already reached the bar by the time Robin caught up with him,

"what are you doing?" She hissed as she held him by his arm.

"I am sorry but I got to go."

"I… sorry, of course you do, it's just, even if you don't want me to go with you to see your mom, couldn't you have at least pretended until we were outside?"

He smiled, so she really would have gone with him.

"Just finish your drinks and excuse yourself, besides, my friends won't eat you, you know."

"I know, it's just…weird."

"Why?" He asked.

"Cause they are your friends, and they are being super nice to me," she looked over her shoulder, making sure no-one had followed them, "but I am just some escort…it's weird."

Barney took her hand, and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "you are not just some escort Robin, and we can share the same friends, you know. But can we talk about this tomorrow?"

He drew back, and she nodded, "sure, we will talk about it tomorrow."

She got hold of his jacket and pulled him closer, kissing him gently.

Barney grinned, and told her, "just enjoy your night, okay?"

Once outside he lit a cigarette, and wondered what Lily was thinking now that they had kissed in plain sight of them. He should have seen this coming, Robin had always acted very affectionate around him in order to make other people jealous, of course tonight wasn't the exception.

Looking back at McLarens he really hoped that his plan would work out, and that they would welcome Robin into their small group.


	7. Loretta

**As you can probably tell; I am really busy right now, and thus don't have much time to write. This probably won't change until the new year so updates will be posted infrequently.**

**I am very sorry, and hope that you guys are still sticking with the stories. **

**Loretta Stinson**

Robin was already waiting at the usual street corner when he rolled up.

"Good morning," he greeted her cheerfully as she scooted in.

"Hey, how is your mom doing?" she asked.

"Better, she insisted on having us over for lunch anyway, and fyi, I am not supposed to tell you that she wasn't doing well last night, so if you could just pretend that you don't know, that would be great."

"Sure."

"So, how was last night?" He asked.

She grinned, "your friends are funny."

"Why?"

"First they interrogated me, and then they casually dropped hints that you may not be the angel you are pretending to be."

"They tried to talk you out of dating me? Well that's good to know! I'll never bring a real girlfriend, and leave her alone with them then."

"Well, they were just curious what you told me about yourself." She shrugged.

"But you had fun?" He checked.

"I did, yes."

"That's all that matters."

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"So your mom, anything else I need to know?" Robin checked.

Barney shook his head, "nope, just be yourself."

Robin nodded, "I've got to admit, I am a little nervous. I mean…I've never been to a family lunch before…weddings and stuff like that, yes, but not an intimate lunch with the clients mom."

It stung a little that she still saw him as a client, but Barney tried not to show that.

"You'll do fine."

...

Barney introduced Robin to his mom, and it occurred to him that this was the first time he had ever brought a girl home to meet her.

Robin complimented his mom on her nice home, and his mom offered to show her around a little.

Barney tagged along, silently wondering whether or not his mom would approve of Robin if she knew the whole story.

Would she be okay with her son dating an escort? Loretta Stinson had her own share of sexual escapades in her life, so she really was in no position to judge Robin for what she did, yet Barney had a feeling that his mom wouldn't simply be okay with it.

They had reached the kitchen, and Barney noticed that his mom was making his favorite dish for lunch.

"Would you please get some drinks from the garage?" His mom asked him, Barney nodded, and left the kitchen.

He took a detour through the backyard to smoke a cigarette, and by the time he got back dinner was already served.

"So Robin, you are the first girl Barney ever brought home." His mom said.

"Mom." Barney tried to stop his mom from embarrassing him.

"What? It's true. I've never even met Shannon."

"Really? Wow. She was such a big part of your life." Robin realized surprised.

"Oh you know her?" Loretta asked.

"Robin and I went to a college reunion the other day, Shannon was there too." Barney explained.

Loretta nodded, "well the point I was trying to make is; this must be getting very serious."

Barney noticed that Robin was clearly uncomfortable right now, and intervened, "it's not. I mean…we don't know where this is going yet."

"Way to set the mood sweatheart." Loretta laughed, and added, "I am sorry, I don't mean to freak you out."

Robin waved it off, "it's fine, we are just figuring things out."

…

"So, what do you think of her?" Barney asked later when Robin was in the restroom, and Barney and his mom where left alone.

"Stop pretending Barney."

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice giving away that he could guess what she was implying.

"It's all just an act to get into her pants, right? Let me guess, she wants to wait for her wedding night, and you figured introducing her to your old mother early on would prove that you are a decent guy who she could marry someday, therefore she might as well be giving it up tonight."

"What?" Barney asked surprised.

"I know you Barney…after all, you are my son." She replied.

"You couldn't be more wrong." He actually laughed a little about his mom's theory. Did Robin really come across that innocent?

"Then why did you bring her?" Loretta demanded to know.

Barney didn't have an explanation for that either. It had just seemed like the thing to do, another excuse to hang out with her, really.

He just shrugged.

"I love what you did with the hallway wall." Robin sat back down next to him.

"Did you see the picture of Barney in his basketball jersey? He was so talented." Loretta went right back into sweet mother mode.

"I did." Robin turned to him and rubbed his thigh, "you were a really cute kid."

He just smiled, suddenly wondering whether or not taking her here had been such a good idea after all.

…

"She didn't like me, huh?" Robin asked once they were back in the cab, heading towards Manhattan.

"What? Why would you think that?" He asked surprised.

"I just do." She shrugged.

"That's ridiculous. My mom loved you."

Robin laughed.

"What?"

"You do realize I am not hurt if she doesn't right? I mean, it's not like I emotionally involved in this whole thing."

That stung.

"Course not." He mumbled.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean…your mom is really sweet." She quickly added.

Barney nodded, this wasn't about his mom, and whether or not Robin liked her, but she clearly didn't see it that way.

"You are right…it doesn't matter whether or not you two get along." He managed to smile at her.

She looked out the window, whispering "this is getting weird, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"This." She gestured between them, "me meeting your mom, hanging out with your friends…it's weird."

"No it's not." He quickly replied.

"Barney look, I don't need you to rescue me." They locked eyes.

"I am not trying to…"

"You are, but it's not necessary. I can take care of myself just fine."

Barney swallowed, this felt an awful lot like a goodbye.

"Obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be putting yourself out there like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked.

He didn't want to fight with her, yet it seemed like there was no way around it.

"You are getting into cars with complete strangers, call me crazy, but that's just irresponsible. And don't tell me the agency knows where you are, or that you have some backup friend who will call the cops if you don't check in every now and then, because we both know that neither one of these things is true." He got louder then he had planned.

Robin just turned her head, and looked out the window.

He watched her for a second, "and yes, maybe part of me does want to rescue you, but not because I caught feelings, or grab like that, but rather because I've gotten to know this amazingly witty, and funny girl, and I am worried for her."

She turned back towards him, "I'll be fine."

"No Robin, you just got lucky with the guys."

The cab stopped at the same street corner where he'd always picked her up. Robin got out while Barney paid the cab, exiting after her.

"What are you doing?" She asked surprised when she noticed him getting out as well.

"Finishing this conversation." He responded quietly, while walking besides her.

"It was finished, I can take care of myself, end of story."

"Robin look, I get it, it's exciting, but you…"

"No you don't get it Barney." She got a little louder, "I am completely capable of taking care of myself."

Suddenly her stubbornness made him mad, and he snapped, he got hold of her waist, and pulled her forcefully into the alley they were just walking by.

It took her a few seconds to react, but her attempts to get free where no match for him, and he pushed her against the wall, covering her mouth with his hand.

They starred at each other for a few seconds, "Robin, it's a bright Sunday afternoon, on a busy street, and yet no-one came to your help just now, do you think that would be different at night?"

He took his hand off her mouth, and noticed that he was trembling.

"You wouldn't stand a chance." He added.

"What the hell was that?" She sounded mad, yet she wasn't trying to get him off her.

"I am sorry…I just wanted you to understand that you are neither strong, nor big enough to get away." He tried to explain.

He let go off her completely, rubbing his eyes with his hand. He was surprised by his outburst too. He had never manhandled a woman like that before.

He turned back towards her, and repeated, "I am sorry, are you okay?"

She fixed her jacket, and nodded, looking back towards the busy street they had just walked on a minute ago.

He did the same, "no-one even noticed."

"No." She said quietly.

"Robin look, I am not trying to tell you how to live your life, but you are playing with the fire, and now that you are my friend it's kind of my job to make sure you don't get burned."

"Friend, huh?"

"Well…we could be, right? I could be the friend who you'd check in with when you meet up with these men."

That suggestion made her laugh out loud, "you'd make sure no-one hurts me?"

He nodded, not getting why this was such a laughing matter.

"Do I have to call you daddy then too?" She asked.

He crocked his head, "haha."

"Barney Stinson, banker by day, pimp by night." She was still laughing.

"You do realize that you'd be the prostitute in that analogy."

"I'd be whatever you want me to be."

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you, you know?" He asked.

She was still laughing, and somehow it was contagious.

"You'll wear a fur coat too, right?" She giggled.

He got hold of her hand, and pulled her against his chest, "what if instead of me joining your world, you'd join mine, and quit that job altogether?"

Her laughter seized, and she looked at him, "I _did_ get along with your friends."

"And you _do_ have a real job now too." He added.

"And I can _not_ be responsible for dragging you into this shady business."

"So…?" He asked.

"I'll think about it, okay?"

He nodded, "fair enough. Either way, you have to come to McLarens tomorrow night, after all we are all going to watch your show in the morning."

"That's too much pressure, I mean that's four times our normal viewership."

"You'll do great, so McLarens at eight?"

"Sure daddy." She replied, giggling again.

Barney rolled his eyes, and let her go, "you are totally ruining that phrase for me right now."

"Am I daddy?" She asked, while turning around to wink at him.


	8. Come on get up New York

**Come on get up New York**

"Good morning!" Barney said as he entered the apartment.

"Why are you so jolly?" Lily asked, she, Marshall, and Ted were already sitting on the couch.

"Because he probably plans on telling us all kinds of dirty stories, and the positions he's seen Robin in so far while we watch." Ted mumbled.

"Can't I simply be excited to watch a morning show with my friends?" Barney asked while hanging his coat.

"Do you usually watch it by yourself?" Marshall asked.

"I don't want details." Lily interrupted before Barney could answer.

Barney just laughed, and let himself fall into the chair.

"So, Barney, you do realize that you owe us big time, right?" Marshall asked.

"Why is that?" Barney asked.

"We all got up at three thirty to watch your girlfriends morning show."

"Okay first of all, Robin is not my girlfriend, she's a friend that happens to be a girl, nothing more. And secondly, you guys got along with her, right? Friends watch their friends TV shows, that's just polite."

"So she hasn't let you sleep with her, huh?" Marshall teased him.

"Barney we saw how you guys kissed," Lily pointed out.

"So? Everyone kisses these days, no biggie." Barney waved her off.

"I really like Robin, I hope you don't screw this thing up." Ted commented.

"You hope to screw her some day, am I right Teddy Westside?" Barney asked.

Ted blushed, "no. Of course not, she's your girl. The bro code is very clear about these kinds of things."

Barney just laughed, "anyways, I am glad you had a fun night with her. She's coming to McLarens tonight too."

"Oh it starts," Lily pointed to the TV, and the others went quiet.

…

"Well, that's not good." Marshall was the first to speak.

"No it's not." Ted agreed.

"Poor Robin." Lily commented.

"Someone needs to put this on youtube!" Barney exclaimed.

The other three turned towards him, "what is wrong with you?" Ted asked.

"Your girlfriend just humiliated herself in front of god knows how many viewers, and you want to spread the footage even further?" Lily asked.

"Not my girlfriend, remember?" Barney asked while rewinding the show, and setting everything up so he could save the clip.

"Seriously Barney, you should call her and see if she's all right." Lily suggested.

Barney shook his head, and chuckled, "she's fine, although I doubt she will be joining us at McLarens tonight."

…

He did call her later on.

"You guys saw everything, didn't you?" She asked right away.

"Yep. What's your address?"

"Barney, I am not giving you my address." She responded.

"I thought we've been over this, I am your friend now, remember?"

"But I am still the escort, remember?"

"Just give me your address, Lily wants me to drop something off."

"Barney, I already crossed the line when I gave you this number."

"Robin, what exactly are you afraid of?"

"I am not afraid, I just don't mix my personal, and my professional life."

"So sleeping with that guy was purely professional then?" He challenged her.

"Good night Barney." She hung up before he could say another word.

He rolled his eyes, and tried calling her again, she didn't pick up so he send her a text.

_Oh come on, u know I don't judge u 4 what u do, but it was right there. _

She didn't reply, so he kept writing;

_I can't believe u don't trust me enough to give me ur address._

Finally his cell phone beeped,

_This isn't about whether or not I trust u_

He grinned and replied right away,

_Do u?_

_Out & about – sure. Alone in my apartment – not so much._

Barney laughed, she had a point, the moment he got a girl alone in his or her apartment was always a guarantee for sex.

_I thought u can take care of urself in any situation._

His phone rang, and he answered it,

"Why is it so important to drop this off tonight? Can't we just meet up tomorrow?" She asked.

"It'll probably be cold by then, besides, it's supposed to make you feel better, what's the point of you getting it after you already feel better?"

"I really just want to lay on my couch, watch some trash tv, and go to bed early Barney."

"I won't stay long." He kept pushing.

"You better not, I owe guns you know." She finally gave in.

…

He had expected her to live close to the corner where they usually met, but as it turned out, she didn't. She lived all the way in Brooklyn, and the cab ride seemed to take forever.

He'd finally made it, standing in front of her door, holding the package Lily gave him earlier. He could hear some dogs bark behind the door, and Robin shushing them.

"Hey." She said as she opened the door.

"Wow, you look horrible." He said it out loud before he could stop himself.

"Thanks." She replied, and turned around, letting herself fall back onto the couch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean … I meant you look really sick." He stepped inside the apartment as well and closed the door behind him.

"I feel like it too." She snuggled back into the blanket.

"Well, Lily got you soup from this special place, she always gets it for Marshall when he is sick too." Barney held the bag up.

"I don't think I can eat anything right now." Robin replied.

"You are right, probably not the best idea." He commented, and put the bag down.

They just stood there in silence for a second, "so…I heard dogs barking when I knocked."

Robin nodded, "they are in the bedroom."

"How many do you have?" Barney asked.

"Five."

"Seriously? In this small apartment?" Barney asked surprised.

"Well, I go out with them a lot, you know."

Barney nodded, "have they been outside today?"

"Just for a couple of minutes."

Barney couldn't believe he was about to offer to walk her dogs, but she looked miserable, and he figured a good friend would do exactly that.

"I can take them for a walk."

She looked up, "Barney you don't…"

"Your dogs shouldn't suffer just because you are suffering…just tell me where you usually take them, and I will make sure they get some exercise."

"Seriously?" Robin asked.

"That's the sort of thing friends would do, right?" He asked.

"Are we really friends though?" She asked.

"I'd say we talk about that after I get back. Where are the dogs, and what do I need to do?" She asked.

She untangled herself from the blanket, and got up. Five dogs, three of them rather big, came charging towards Barney once she let them out of her bedroom.

"Easy boys." Robin warned them.

Barney let them sniff his hand, briefly wondering what he was thinking. He liked dogs, but he had never owned one.

Robin put their collars on, and anticipating the walk, the dogs went wild.

"Are you sure you are going to be okay with them?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, easy…"

Robin nodded, and picked the Chihuahua up, "can you carry her down the stairs?"

Barney briefly ogled the tiny dog, he would look like the least manly guy on the planet if he carried him around.

Robin noticed his hesitation, "she won't bite…well, she might, but she usually doesn't draw blood."

"That's reassuring." Barney took the dog out of her arms.

"Can you open the door for me?"

"Yeah, and be careful, they will pull you down the stairs if you don't remind them to heel." She advised.

Going down the stairs was indeed a challenge, but once they were outside the dogs started to calm down, and his confidence that all six of them would survive this walk came back.

…

"How did it go?" Robin asked as she greeted him at the door, taking the leashes off the dogs as they trotted back into the apartment.

"Good." Barney took his coat off, and watched the dogs settle in various places.

"Thanks for doing that for me." She smiled.

Barney grinned, and watched her sit back down on the couch. He got his laptop out of his bag and joined her.

"So I am guessing Lily sending the food over means that you guys saw the whole show." She asked as she wrapped the blanket around her.

Barney nodded, he couldn't keep himself from grinning.

"Great." She buried her face in the blanket, "I can never leave this apartment again."

"What are you talking about?" He asked as opened the laptop up, "this will make you famous."

"I don't want to be famous for throwing up on live TV." She replied.

"Look, you already got 20,000 hits on youtube." He pointed to the screen.

"Someone put it on youtube?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah, someone." He smirked.

She didn't notice his guilty look, instead she watched herself puking into one of these magnificent hand made purses.

It made her laugh, "okay, that is pretty funny."

"Right?" He asked.

She shook her head, "it's really nice of Lily to send soup over, I mean we only hung out once."

"Yeah, but you are my friend, which automatically makes you their friend. Besides, I think Lily has been wanting another girl in our group for quite some time now."

For once Robin didn't fight the notion of them being friends, and instead nodded.

"So…why did you throw up? Are you pregnant?" He asked.

"Yeah Barney, I am pregnant." She replied in a mocking tone.

"No need to be all sarcastic, you being knocked up is definitively not my fault." He replied.

"I was joking. Oh my god, could you imagine having a kid? I think I'd just kill myself."

Barney looked at her in awe, "you are the perfect girl, you know that?"

"I take it you don't want kids either?"

"Hell no." Barney replied.

"I don't get why everyone is so into having them, I mean they take over your whole life and make everything about them."

"Right? And don't even get me started on how messy they are, my poor suits wouldn't stand a chance."

"Word."

Barney grinned, "so why did you throw up?"

"Some bug, or maybe the Sushi I ate last night." She shrugged.

Barney wondered whether or not she had eaten that Sushi with another client of hers, but didn't want to start a fight by asking.

"Well, we all watched your show this morning, and the others can't wait to give you praise for it, so you'll have to come down to McLarens some time this week." He said instead.

She hesitated, "Barney, you have to choose, I can either be the girl you hire every now and then, or we can give this platonic friend thing a try."

He smirked, "is friends-with-benefits an option?"

"Nope, either escort, which as you know can involve sex, or friends. Black or white, I don't want there be a grey area where we kiss in front of your friends, but are really just fooling everyone."

Barney nodded, "well, I choose friend then."

"Are you serious?" She asked surprised.

He nodded, "yeah, I think we could become really good friends….you could be my wingwoman, I bet you would do a better job then Ted!"

Robin laughed, "I'm in."

Barney smirked, "do I get one more kiss?"

"I expected you to ask for another handjob." She replied.

It made him laugh out loud, "I'll take whatever you offer baby."

"You'll get another kiss once I am feeling better."

"Fair enough."

Barney glanced at his watch, he should probably get going, she had made it pretty clear that she didn't want him to stay too long.

"Well, I better get back to the city." He got up.

"Yeah, please tell Lily I said thanks, and that I will be seeing her at McLarens one of these nights."

He nodded, "feel better, okay?"

"I will, I am sure I am over it by tomorrow morning. Thanks again for walking the dogs."

"Anytime."

"I doubt that." She grinned.

Barney shrugged, "good night Ava."

"Night Barney."


	9. Truth be Told

**Truth be Told**

"Barney, I need to talk to you." Lily announced as she entered his apartment on Thursday night.

Barney noticed how unhinged she was, and wondered what it was she wanted to talk to him about. Had Marshall done something to upset her?

"What's going on?" He asked.

"You should probably sit down for this." She advised, and Barney did.

"Are you okay Lil?"

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you, this really isn't fair, but I can't just not say anything either." She rambled.

"Lil, just tell me what's wrong." He repeated.

"This sucks, the one time you are sincere instead of a total jerk, and this happens?" She shook her head.

Barney was still not able to follow.

"Okay, here it goes." She took a deep breath, "Robin is cheating on you."

It took him a few seconds to fully comprehend what she had just said, "what?"

"There is this fancy restaurant close to the school, and they have the best cake ever, so every now and then I go there during my lunch break and buy some for Marshall." She started to explain.

"And?"

"I had to wait, and … Robin was there, with another man."

"So what Lil, she can have lunch with whomever she pleases." He shrugged.

"No, you don't understand. They were … intimate."

"You got to be more specific than that."

"She was wearing this super short dress, and he had his hand on her thigh the whole time…they kissed too…and…."

"And?" Barney asked, even through he was pretty sure that he already knew where this was going.

"They left together too, and judged by the way he groped her…" She let her sentence trail off.

"I am so sorry Barney." She gently rubbed his forearm.

Barney looked down at her hand, this revelation did bring him down, he had really hoped to have talked some sense into Robin the other day.

"We aren't dating Lil, I meant what I said when I told you that I wouldn't sleep with her."

"Barney you don't have to pretend that this doesn't affect you."

Barney swallowed, "it's okay Lily, she can date whoever she wants. I am just a friend."

"You guys kissed." She reminded him.

"Yes, but I promised I wouldn't sleep with her, and I meant that."

"Barney she's clearly playing you." Lily pointed out.

He didn't know what to say, tell Lily the truth about how he and Robin had really met? But he doubted that Lily would simply look past this, and accept Robin into her group if she knew what she did for a living. Besides she would most certainly tell Marshall, and Marshall would tell Ted…it'd ruin everything.

"I meant what I said when we talked last week, I want her to be a part of our group Lily."

Their eyes met, "you really care about her, huh?"

Barney swallowed, Lily would never understand.

"She's a really awesome chick, and yeah, I care about her, but not in the romantic, catching feelings kind of way."

Lily nodded, "is she coming to McLarens tonight?"

"Tomorrow, she will meet us there tomorrow." Barney replied.

Lily nodded.

"Please don't use this against her, I mean you two got along great, right? Didn't you want to go to this big sale with her? When is that?" Barney asked.

"Saturday." Lily answered.

"You'll have a blast, trust me, Robin is a lot of fun to be around." He got up, and Lily did too.

Barney fumbled with his cell phone now.

"I should go." Lily muttered.

Barney nodded, "yeah, I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?"

Lily had already opened the door when she turned back towards him, "he wasn't even hot, just some middle-aged guy, I am sure she'll regret this."

Barney faked a smile, he knew that Lily meant to make him feel better, but the opposite was true.

He waited until the door had closed behind Lily before dialing Robin's number. She answered after the fourth ring.

"Hi Barney."

"Hey…are you okay?" He was relived to hear her, and a part of him was sad that he was seemingly the only person who was worried for her safety.

"Why wouldn't I?" She asked.

Barney started to rub his eyes, not sure whether or not he should tell her that Lily had seen her with that guy.

"I saw you earlier…he seemed very pushy, I just wanted to make sure you got home okay."

She didn't answer right away, and so he did because he couldn't stand the silence for much longer,

"I… kind of hoped that you would quit."

"Don't tell me how to live my life Barney." She was mad, and he couldn't blame her.

"I am not, I just…you might not give a damn whether or not you'll end up dead one of these days, but I do." He swallowed, had he really just said _that_?

"I got home save Barney." She replied softly.

"Did he… did you…you know."

"Please stop Barney."

He swallowed, "why?"

"Because you are making me feel guilty for something I shouldn't feel bad about, we aren't dating Barney."

"No, I mean, why did you do it?"

"I didn't _do _it."

Barney wondered if she was lying.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, right?" She asked, clearly wanting to change the subject.

"Yes, McLarens at eight." Barney confirmed.

"Can't wait."

Barney waited for her to hand up first, but she didn't, instead she said,

"And thanks for checking in on me."

He heard the click, and put his phone down.


	10. The Last Kiss

Just wanted to quickly share me thoughts on the whole Robin not quitting thing: I thought that it'd be too cheesy & easy if she quits just because she met Barney. It's B&R after all. And I really wanted to write a story where things are complicated and messy between them, so that's this one. Having said that, now that I re-read the last couple of chapters, I agree that Robin seems to take advantage of Barney, so I am planning on writing some chapters where that's reversed.

Super short chapter, but I might post a second one later. Have fun reading :)

**The Last Kiss**

"Where is the rest?" Robin asked as she scooted into the seat next to him.

"Ted is still fixing his hair, and I am pretty sure that the marrieds are having sex in the bathroom right now." He pointed in the general direction of the restrooms.

It made Robin laugh, "well, even better, I hoped to talk to you alone before the others showed up."

Barney raised an eyebrow.

"I still owe you this." She leaned in, and kissed him.

It took Barney a second to react, but then he went into automatic mode: One hand went up to cup her face, and the second wrapped around her waist, while he simultaneously slipped his tongue into her mouth.

She didn't reject, quite the opposite was true actually, and it encouraged him to slip his hand underneath her light top.

She broke the kiss off, and caught his hand, "dude, I owed you a kiss, not giving me a breast exam."

He laughed devilish.

Robin sat back up straight, and took a sip from his scotch, "so, from now on just friends, right?"

"Right." He nodded.

They watched the bar scene for a second before Robin spoke again, "sorry for snapping at you yesterday. I am not used to having someone around who knows about the escort thing."

"It's okay, I might have crossed a line anyways, I mean we barely know each other."

Robin nodded, "we'll change that though, right?"

"Hell yeah, I was thinking cigar lounge Sunday afternoon?"

"I am in."

Barney grinned, and finally asked, "so….you aren't going to quit, huh?"

She shrugged, "is that a deal breaker?"

"No, of course not. But I want to propose a deal, I won't ask about these men, and what you do with them, and in return you will call me before and after you go out with them so I know where you are, and that you made it home save."

The proposition made Robin smile, "okay."

Lily and Marshall finally emerged form the restroom.

Robin turned towards Barney and whispered, "and fyi - I really didn't do, and never would do, anything with that guy you saw me with."

"Hi Robin!" Marshall greeted her, as Lily waved at her.

"So glad you made it."

"Thanks, yeah sorry I didn't come by Monday night, I wasn't feeling very good. Well you know." Robin replied.

"Yeah, that whole thing was unfortunate." Marshall commented.

"Unfortunate? It was hilarious!" Barney interrupted, and waved Wendy over so they could order some food.

…

"So Robin, are you dating anyone?" Lily asked once the food had arrived.

Ted had also joined them, and Barney noticed how his bro looked at Robin in anticipation.

"No, not right now." Robin replied.

Lily and Barney's eyes met, and he quickly shook his head. The last thing he wanted was for Lily to interrogate Robin about her love life.

"Me neither." Ted said, and Barney couldn't help but laugh about his bro.


	11. Drabbles

**Drabbles**

"Do you think I would have been a good TV host?" Lily asked one night, after hanging out all day with Robin.

Marshall immediately nodded, but Barney wasn't getting his next thousand lays from her, and thus spoke his mind, "I don't know, I don't think you'd be neutral enough for that job."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"You like to speak your mind."

"Robin does too." Lily countered.

"Sure, but not when she has guests, she just goes with whatever their story is. But you would try to fix their lives for them." Barney shook his head, "why do you want to become a TV host anyways?"

"It pays really well." Lily shrugged.

"I seriously doubt that," Marshall interjected.

"Robin must be making a small fortune hosting that show." Lily countered.

Barney was sipping on his scotch.

"Why would you think that?" Marshall asked.

"She always buys really nice stuff when we go shopping together, and sometimes she doesn't even care how much it is." Lily pointed out.

"Maybe she inherited a fortune," Marshall guessed.

Barney used a busty blond at the bar as an excuse to leave the table, quietly wondering whether the ability to afford nice things was one of the reasons why Robin had such a hard time quitting the escort gig.

…

Barney tried to stay awake by rubbing his eyes, and starring at the giant TV. He glanced at the clock again; it was already past two a.m.

Waiting for her to call was always nerve-racking for him, yet he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

He pulled his cell phone out, and briefly wondered whether or not he should check in on her. But she had told him earlier that this would be a long night, and that he shouldn't wait up, so there wasn't really anything to worry about.

Sometimes Barney wondered what his friends would think if they knew. What would they say if they ever found out that Robin was an escort? And would they believe him if he told them that he, Barney Stinson, New Yorks biggest womanizer, was waiting up to make sure she would come home okay.

For someone he wasn't even having sex with.

They probably wouldn't, or they would assume it's a play to get into Robin's pants.

His cell phone rang, and Barney answered right away, "yeah?"

"Hey, it's me." Robin said, sounding exhausted herself.

"Hey, are you home yet?" They'd had this conversation countless times before.

"I am in the cab, I am just gonna go straight to work, but I figured the sooner I call, the sooner you'd get some sleep."

"I am not tired."

"You never are." She responded quietly.

"Everything go well?"

"Yes."

He never asked about the guys.

"McLarens tomorrow night?" Robin asked.

"Yes, eight-thirty?"

"I'll be there."

They didn't talk for a couple of seconds, until Robin broke the silence.

"You should get some sleep Barney."

"I am not tired, in fact, when I get tired, I just stop being tired and be awesome instead. True story."

It made her laugh.

"Good night Barney."

"Do something funny for me on your show?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I am taking my show seriously?"

"A nip slip would be nice." He suggested.

"That is _never_ going to happen."

"Challenge accepted!" Barney exclaimed.

"I wasn't challenging you. And how exactly would you make that happen?"

"I am obviously not telling you."

"Whatever, I will see you tomorrow, okay? Thanks for waiting up again Barney."

"Anytime Scherbatsky."

He hung up, and turned the TV off. Maybe tomorrow they could run another play in the bar.

…

Ted asking Robin out on a date hadn't come as a big surprise, his bro had been smitten for her ever since she first joined their group.

However, Robin agreeing to it came as a shock to Barney.

"So you and Ted are going out, huh?" He asked while nursing his scotch.

Lily, and Marshall had long left the bar, and Ted was currently in the restroom.

Robin just shrugged, "I didn't want to be rude."

"Yeah that's always good. You don't want to hurt his feelings by saying no to a date, but dumbing him afterwards, when he's really invested, is fine?"

"It's just one night Barney. Ted knows that."

"You clearly don't know Ted very well, he's probably planning your wedding as we speak."

It made Robin laugh, "are you jealous?"

"No Robin, I am not." He stated.

"It's just a date Barney, how comes this is such a big deal? You know I go out with men all the time, it never bothers you."

"Again, I am not jealous. I just don't want to loose my best bro to a relationship."

"Ted's constantly in relationships, isn't he?" Robin asked.

"I meant you." Barney clarified.

Robin smiled, "best bro, huh?"

"Just don't tell Ted."

…

So yes, Robin hanging out with them became a normal occurrence over the next couple of months. And Barney was a little proud of himself for integrating her, and that he'd made that happen.


	12. Drunken Bro

**Apparently, jetlag can be good for something… :) **

** Guest: I will keep the request in mind, however, I am currently busy enough with these two stories, so I won't start another one any time soon. **

**Drunken Bro**

Tonight was one of those nights where the five of them were hanging out at McLarens, just chatting, and having a good time.

Barney had had a bad day at work, and wasn't really interested in listening to Lily and Robin discussing the latest fashion trend, so he got up and started chatting up a chick at the bar.

Downing another scotch he noticed how Ted had taken his seat next to Robin, leaning in close while telling her something. Probably another boring architecture story.

This sort of thing had happened a lot, and there was no denying that Ted was more than smitting for Robin.

Barney ordered another drink, and nodded at whatever the blond bimbo was going on about.

She didn't even notice that he wasn't listening to her.

…

He remembered standing at the sink at McLarens, and throwing water in his face.

Apparently he had gotten really drunk.

Later Lily would tell him that Marshall, Ted and her had wanted to go upstairs to watch a movie, and that Ted was trying to convince Robin to come up to.

Robin wanted to stay and make sure that he got home okay though, and even through they tried to convince her that Barney Stinson could take care of himself in any kind of drunken state, she wouldn't go with them.

The cold water had helped, but the room was still spinning.

The door was opened, but he didn't even look who had entered.

"You okay?"

"This is the man's room…isn't it?" He replied, looking at Robin through the mirror.

"Yes, it is, but you disappeared fifteen minutes ago, and I haven't seen anyone exit in the last seven so I figured the coast was clear."

"You still don't just walk into the man's room." He reasoned with her.

She grabbed some of the paper towels, and handed them to him. "Come on, I will bring you home."

"Into bed?" he slurred.

"Yes."

"Finally." He grinned.

"Oh I am not joining you, besides, you are way to drunk to have decent sex anyways."

"Challenge accepted!" He yelled out way too loud.

"Come Barney, let's go." She wrapped her arm around his and lead him out of the restroom.

She had already paid his tab, and thus just needed to maneuver him through the crowded bar, and into a taxi.

Once inside she gave the driver his address.

"I knew you would come around eventually." Barney muttered as he leaned in, and started to kiss her neck.

"If you leave a hickey." She threatened him.

"Ough…good idea, Ted would be so jealous." He dove in again, but this time she pushed him off of her.

"How about we just sit next to each other like two normal adults, huh?" She suggested.

"Oh come on, backseat action turns you on."

"That was circumstantial."

Barney had placed his hand on her thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"Let me repay you for that handjob? Even drunk I am way better than Ted." Barney slurred.

"Okay first of all, no. Secondly, I wouldn't know how Ted is in bed, I never hooked up with him."

"You can be honest, I won't be mad."

"And you most likely won't remember either, how much did you have to drink?"

"Don't change the subject. So Ted didn't get to nail you after that big date?" He asked.

"After one date? Nah, I am not that cheap."

"Have you ever slept with a guy because he offered you a large amount of money for it? And if so, what's the rate?" Barney asked.

Robin took his hand from her thigh, "jesus, you are seriously drunk Barney."

"I am just trying to gauge my chances here."

The cab pulled up, and Robin paid the fare before helping Barney, who was now groping her, out of the cab.

"You are a very affectionate, and clingy drunk, you know that?" she asked as they walked into the lobby.

"I am always like that, trying to get something, something."

They made it into the elevator, and Barney started kissing her neck again. She placed her hand in his and whispered, "it's not happening Barney."

"Cause I am drunk, or cause I am me?" He asked.

"Because I really don't want to loose you as a friend, and that will happen if _this_ happens."

"We can be casual." He suggested.

"Not with my job, Barney."

The elevator door opened, and she guided him down the hall, "which one is yours? And where do you got your keys?"

"It's the last one to the right…keys are in my pocket, guess you have to fish for them."

"Just take them out Barney."

"What fun would that be?" He asked.

They had reached his door, and she gently pushed him against the wall so he wouldn't fall over, diving into his pants pockets with her hands.

"Yeah, that's it."

"You are a pig." She replied, as she pulled the key out, and unlocked the door.

They stepped into the living room, "finally alone," Barney muttered and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Where's your bedroom?" She replied.

"Now you are thinking." They stumbled through the room, then the hallway, until they reached his bedroom.

"You sure like the color grey." Robin commented.

"I sure like you." He replied.

Robin untangled herself from his arms, and gently pushed him onto the bed.

"How about a striptease lap dance as a starter?" Barney asked.

"Just lay down Barney."

He did as she told him, and she went ahead, and took his shoes off.

"Or I just lay here, that works too." Barney replied.

Robin pulled the covers over him, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Good night Barney."

"But sex?" He asked.

"Not happening bro."

She got up to look for a glass of water, and aspirin, and placed both on his bedside table.

"Robin?" He asked as she was about to leave for good.

"Yes Barney?" She replied, while sitting back down.

"Please quit that job."

"Barney you are drunk." She replied.

"Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that I absolutely hate you doing that. These guys don't deserve you Robin. I know you don't sleep with them, but they don't even deserve a peek on the cheek."

"Barney…"

"I know I said I wouldn't interfere anymore, and I am trying really hard, but the bottom line is that I care about you, and that the evenings where you are out with someone are hell for me. I am literally worried sick all night."

She took his hand in hers, "I am sorry…you shouldn't worry. And I am so grateful that you do what you do for me…but let's talk about this tomorrow when you are sober, okay?"

"I might not remember we ever had this conversation."

"I am going to remind you, I promise."

She squeezed his hand one more time, before getting up.

"Good night Barney." "Night, thanks for taking care of me."

"That's what bro's do, right?" She asked as she turned the lights off.

"Only the very best," he muttered as he drifted off to sleep.

…

"Good morning, how is your head?"

"Not good." Barney muttered, he had just taken a cold shower in an attempt to fight his hangover when his cell phone rang.

"I believe it, you were loaded last night."

"I know, thanks for bringing me home…and sorry for all those inappropriate comments."

"So you do remember?" She asked.

"Unfortunately – yes."

"Don't worry about it, although the hickey you gave me calls for some revenge."

"Did I really?" He asked.

"Yes you idiot."

"You are coming to McLarens tonight, right? I want to see that."

"Yes I'll be there, but just for a quick bite to eat…I've got a work thing."

"You mean a client?" He asked.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you…I thought about what you said last night, and I think the reason why you are so freaked out by me being out with these guys is because I never really tell you anything."

"I don't want you to tell me anything." He responded quickly.

"No I mean…tonight for example. I've been on a couple of _dates_ with him."

"So is he like your boyfriend?" Barney asked sarcastically.

"Can you please let me finish?"

"Sure go ahead."

"He's a seventy-six year old…"

"I knew you had daddy issues, but 76? That's just so gross."

"Barney!"

"Fine, go ahead. Do you have to call him granddaddy?"

"As I was saying, he is a fifty-six year old, who always used to see Broadway musicals with his wife, it was their thing, whenever a new show came out, they'd be there. Well, she died two years ago, so now he is hiring me to go to these musicals with him…"

"That's creepy."

"I think it's sweet. He doesn't want anything from me Barney, he just wants someone there with him holding his hand so he can pretend she never died."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"So you won't worry."

"Robin I am always going to worry." He replied.

"I am not quitting Barney, I am sorry."

"McLarens at seven?" He changed the subject.

"Yes."

"See you there Scherbatsky."

…

Marshall, Lily, Ted and Robin were already sitting in the booth when he entered the bar.

"Let's see it." Barney immediately requested as he sat down.

"See what?" Marshall asked.

Barney got a hold of Robins' scarf, "the hickey."

"Stop that." Robin swatted his hand away.

"You promised to show it to me." He whined.

"Yes, to you! Not the entire bar." Robin hissed.

"Now we want to see it too." Lily interjected.

Robin shot Barney an annoyed look, and unwrapped the scarf.

"Wow, that's a big one." Marshall commented.

"Huh? Huh?" Barney was proud of himself.

"I didn't know you were seeing someone?" Lily asked interested.

Ted just got up, grabbed his beer, and headed for the bar.

Barney couldn't help but smile about that.

"I don't want to talk about it." Robin said as she put the scarf back on.

Barney was intrigued to tell them that he'd done that, but he decided against it for now.

Clinging glasses he winked at her, best bro ever.


	13. The Incident

**The Incident**

They were all hanging out at McLarens, chatting, and eating burgers when a guy came up to the booth.

"Ava?"

Barney couldn't help, and looked at Robin, who hadn't reacted at all.

"Ava?" The guy repeated.

Robin's and Barney's eyes briefly met, before she turned towards him.

"I am sorry, you must be mistaken me with someone else." She said politely.

"Seriously, that's how you going to play this?" The guy asked.

"Her name isn't Ava." Ted supplied.

"So what is her name then?" The guy asked.

"She said she doesn't know you." Barney interjected before anyone would say her name.

"Well, but I know her, quiet well actually." He replied grinning.

Barney got up from his seat, and repeated, "she doesn't know you. Now leave."

"Or what? Are you going to fight me?" The guy asked amused.

Robin got up as well, holding onto Barney's shoulder to make sure he wasn't doing exactly that.

"Looks like _Ava_ has more brains than you," the guy teased, "I'd knock you out before you ever know what hit you."

Now Marshall was getting up as well, "seriously, you got to leave."

The guy just grinned, "dude, I am not looking for trouble, I am just trying to say 'hi' to a friend."

"She doesn't know you." Marshall repeated.

"Oh she does." He looked at Robin now, "but she might have forgotten how I look like, after all I was _behind_ her for most of our night, wasn't I Ava?"

Robin didn't budge, but Barney was seriously ready to wipe that grin off his face.

"You must be mistaken me with someone else." She repeated.

"Oh I see, does your boyfriend not know about your _hobby_."

Robin noticed how Barney balled his fists, and placed her hands against his chest to stop him from doing anything stupid.

The guy just laughed at them, "well, I'd a fun night, we should do it again sometimes…especially now that we've established how rough you really like it."

Barney pushed Robin out of the way, and grabbed the guy by the labels of his shirt.

"Stop it." Robin interfered while the guy pushed Barney off him.

The guy grinned, "you better listen to your girlfriend."

Robin got a hold of Barney's arm, and whispered, "let's just leave Barney, I really don't want this to escalate."

Barney watched the guy go back to his buddies at the bar, they had all watched, and were laughing now.

He could imagine the dirty jokes they were making, and that alone made him wanting to charge for them again.

"We've got beers upstairs," Marshall supplied.

Lily, and Ted got up from the booth as well, walking out with Marshall. Barney and Robin were close behind.

"We'll be right up." Robin said once they had gotten outside.

"Okay." Lily nodded.

"What the hell was that?" Barney asked as soon as the others had disappeared into the building.

"A nightmare." Robin replied sober.

Barney got his cigarettes out, and lit one.

"They are probably thinking that I am the biggest slut in the universe." Robin muttered.

"What?" Barney asked surprised.

"Marshall, Lily, and Ted. And how am I going to explain the whole Ava thing?" Robin asked.

"You could tell them that you met him at a bar, and gave him a fake name. I do that all the time."

"That isn't helping." Robin replied.

"Oh come on, a one night stand isn't something to be ashamed of. And it's certainly nothing that the marrieds, and Ted are going to hold against you."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. I swear, if Lily hadn't met her soul mate in the first week of college, she'd be having One-Night-Stands all the time." Barney explained.

"Still not helping."

"So just tell them that you have no clue who he was. I mean, it seemed like he'd mistaken you for someone else anyway." Barney suggested.

Robin nodded, "yeah, maybe I should just do that."

She walked towards the entrance door, turning around once she realized that Barney wasn't following her.

"Are you coming?"

He nodded.

"Wait a second," he got a hold of her arm once they were inside the building.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Was he a customer?"

She averted her gaze, "Barney please don't go there."

"It's…the stuff he said…were you completely on board that night or did he do stuff you didn't want to do?"

"Can we just go upstairs?"

"Not before you tell me whether or not I need to cave his skull in." Barney replied.

"You don't,"

"Are you just saying this to get me to go upstairs with you?" he asked.

Robin sighed, "he was one of the first ones…and he was pushy, yes, but I agreed to everything."

Barney swallowed, "okay."

They looked at each other for a second, before Robin looked away, "I think I'll just go home."

Barney reached out, and took her hand in his, "you know I don't judge you for what you do, right? And the others will totally believe that you didn't know who he was."

Robin just shrugged, "you might not judge me, but you know way too much about this other side of my life Barney, I mean, why are you even still standing here when I can't even stand myself right now?"

It made Barney laugh, "you know what? I've tricked, and deceived over 150 women into sleeping with me, do you really think in a position to judge you?"

"150, huh?"

"164 to be exact." He said while stroking her hand with his thumb, "so you're not a virgin anymore, I would never hold that against you."

This time it was Robin who grinned, "thanks, Barney. And thanks for standing up for me in there."

"Hey, that's what I do." He replied.

"You are a fighter, huh?" She humored him.

They started to walk up the stairs, "there is nothing like punching someone."

"Especially with freshly manicured nails, right?"

"Hey, just because I am fighter doesn't mean I can't take care of myself."

They reached the door, and Robin took a deep breath before entering the apartment.

"Hey, are you okay?" Marshall asked.

"What a freak." Ted added.

"I know, right. I guess you have a Doppelgänger named Ava somewhere out there." Lily said as she handed Robin a beer.

Robin smiled, "I know, weird, huh?"

"What an asshole." Barney muttered.

"No kidding." Ted nodded.

"Let's hope he won't start coming to McLarens regularly." Marshall interjected.

"Probably not, I've never seen him there before." Barney said as he sat down.

"Oh btw, we are going to watch a movie." Lily pointed towards the TV, and Robin squeezed herself into the spot next to Barney.

"Sounds awesome," she said.

Barney noticed how Robin watched the others, and how a smile formed on her lips.

There was no way she'd stop being a part of this group, he happily realized.


End file.
